1. I’m not changed it’s just I grew up and you should try too.
2. I never insult people I only tell them what they are.
3. If you think I am BAD than you’re wrong, I’m the worst.
4. The biggest slap to your enemies is your success.
5. I always arrive late at office but I make it by leaving early.
6. I’m sorry my fault. I forgot you’re an Idiot.
7. I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own FONT.
8. My attitude based on how you treat me.
9. Hakuna Matata!!! – The great motto to live life…
10. Yeah You – The one reading my status, Get Lost!
11. When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
12. I know the voices in my head aren’t real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
13. I loved a girl and she broke my heart. Now every piece of my heart love different girls. People called it flirt that’s not fair…
14. Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend. Now, you help me to save mine.
15. Me and my wife live happily for 25 years and then we met…
16. Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.
17. I’m poor. I can’t pay attention in class room.
18. When I’m good I’m best , when I’m bad I’m worst.
19. I’m cool but global warming made me hot.
20. Excuse me. I found something under my shoes oh its your Attitude. 21. If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’.
22. Please don’t get confused between my personality & my attitude.
23. My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on who you are!
24. I’m Not Special , I’m Just Limited Edition.
25. Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.26. I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
27. Stop checking my status ! Go get a Life!
28. Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! that’s why I’m always calm & silent.
29. My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
30. Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely. 31. Life will give you exactly what you need, not what you want.
32. I did lots of stupid things on social networking sites but atleast I never commented “Cute pic dear“ on girls profile picture.
33. Your Whatsapp status say’s online …..If your online then why aren’t you texting me
34. I started out with nothing and i still have most of it
35. I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as “Free Recharge”
36. I will marry the girl who look as pretty as in her Aadhaar card
37. They say we learn from our mistakes. So I’m making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius.
38. Sorry vegetarians we can’t pretend.
39. Waiting for Wi-Fi network.
40. I wish I had Google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.
41. Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status…
42. Tried to loose weight… But it keeps finding me.
43. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by selling my car.
44. I’m looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
45. lazy People Fact #5812672793 You were too lazy to read that number.
46. Sleep till you’re hungry… Eat till you’re sleepy.
47. If your bad. Call me your Dad.
48. If I was asked what a friend looks like, I would seat next to you and hold you tight because you define what true friendship really is.
49. Friends are the family you choose
50. Good friends will share the umbrella. Best friends will steal it and yell: It’s Awesome, Now Run!